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The Porcupine's Quill:  A Satire Column
by Arshad M. Khan
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the satire column
Porcupine's Quill
July 3, 2016


News Item:  Boris out of contention for Conservative parliamentary party leadership.

I am Boris the Turkish Wolfhound.

Aren't they Irish?

Oh, I mean a Borzoi ...

They are Russian.

You see what I mean.  Mix all these countries and what do you get?  Confusion.  It's
one reason, I wanted out of the EU.  Okay, okay!  I mean English bulldog.

An English bullfrog, you say.  It's the first sensible thing you've said.  Precisely!  The
noise you make floods the country side ... no, the country.

Wait a minute, you old fool ... I didn't say bullfrog; I said bulldog.

Bulldog!  Nah!  You just can't keep a grip on things, Boris.  More a labradoodle, I'd
say, with that mop of yours ... unsure of which end was which and which parent it
came from ...

Listen!  I am proud of my ancestry ...

Who isn't?  If they know what it is ... Anyway, you ain't the first dog that's been taken
for a ride and put back in its own kennel ...