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The Porcupine's Quill:  A Satire Column
by Arshad M. Khan
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the satire column
Porcupine's Quill
December 29, 2012


Why are you unhappy Pinocchio?

Well it's New Year's Eve tomorrow.  While everyone goes out to celebrate, I have to
get this enormous nose job.

Isn't it your own fault, telling so many lies?

No!  I am not that Pinocchio; I am the politicians' alter ego.  I am their good side.  I am
their conscience.

You are!

Yes, and every time one of them tells a lie, my nose grows.  That's how I was made to

No wonder you've become the living equator.

Yes, like the Great Wall, they can see my nose all the way from space.  Every year
my nose grows and grows and wraps itself around the earth.  Yes, I am the equator
and more already.

What if you didn't have a nose job?  You know, become all the lines of latitude -- real
lines we would have then, instead of imaginary ones.

And what do you think would happen, dumbo?

My God!  I see what you mean.  You would strangulate earth.

Yes, and all poor innocent creatures would die from politicians' lies.

But aren't many doing that already?

Yes, but not all, and as long as honest men are left, there is hope.

Well, good luck, Pinocchio!

Thanks!   I am looking forward to blowing my nose again -- at least for a few days
before it's out of reach.