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The Porcupine's Quill:  A Satire Column
by Arshad M. Khan
Please scroll down for
the satire column
Porcupine's Quill
December 23, 2012


News Item:  Senator John Kerry is to be the President's nominee for Secretary of
State according to White House sources.

No, I am not a Southeast Asian delicacy, and yes, I am a bloodhound.  In school, they
nicknamed me Droopy.  That's me.  They also called me a son-of-a-bitch.  That's me,
too -- a simple, natural fact of life, which does not offend me in the least.

I have a plan.  If you are skint or near skint, you have to have a plan.  In my case,
KISS -- Keep It Simple Stupid.  That's what I did.  I sniffed around -- and do I have a
snifter -- well, I sniffed and sniffed and finally found one -- a rich bitch perfect for all
my needs including campaign funds -- hard to get in those days.

We dogs are very political.  You have heard of the dogs of war, well I was a dog for
peace.  And it worked.  I kept stepping up ... both politically and personally.  I am a
Senator as you know and soon to be the new Secretary of State.  And my latest
companion is a billionaire.

What can I say to my fellows.  First, to my Junior High classmates.  Hey!  Who's
laughing now?  But more importantly to my fellows in the dog -- or is it dog-eat-dog --
world.  You've gotta have a plan.  I have a plan.  Always did ...

A footnote though.  I would be remiss if I didn't mention my friend and fellow rich bitch
terrain traveler, the beer-battered hot dog from Arizona, for helping out with that
pesky black terrier who was after the same job.  She is mad as hell, but I'll calm her
down. I have a plan ....