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The Porcupine's Quill: A Satire Column
by Arshad M. Khan
by Arshad M. Khan
Please scroll down for
the satire column
Porcupine's Quill
the satire column
Porcupine's Quill
December 23, 2012
BLOODHOUND CURRY
News Item: Senator John Kerry is to be the President's nominee for Secretary of
State according to White House sources.
No, I am not a Southeast Asian delicacy, and yes, I am a bloodhound. In school, they
nicknamed me Droopy. That's me. They also called me a son-of-a-bitch. That's me,
too -- a simple, natural fact of life, which does not offend me in the least.
I have a plan. If you are skint or near skint, you have to have a plan. In my case,
KISS -- Keep It Simple Stupid. That's what I did. I sniffed around -- and do I have a
snifter -- well, I sniffed and sniffed and finally found one -- a rich bitch perfect for all
my needs including campaign funds -- hard to get in those days.
We dogs are very political. You have heard of the dogs of war, well I was a dog for
peace. And it worked. I kept stepping up ... both politically and personally. I am a
Senator as you know and soon to be the new Secretary of State. And my latest
companion is a billionaire.
What can I say to my fellows. First, to my Junior High classmates. Hey! Who's
laughing now? But more importantly to my fellows in the dog -- or is it dog-eat-dog --
world. You've gotta have a plan. I have a plan. Always did ...
A footnote though. I would be remiss if I didn't mention my friend and fellow rich bitch
terrain traveler, the beer-battered hot dog from Arizona, for helping out with that
pesky black terrier who was after the same job. She is mad as hell, but I'll calm her
down. I have a plan ....
BLOODHOUND CURRY
News Item: Senator John Kerry is to be the President's nominee for Secretary of
State according to White House sources.
No, I am not a Southeast Asian delicacy, and yes, I am a bloodhound. In school, they
nicknamed me Droopy. That's me. They also called me a son-of-a-bitch. That's me,
too -- a simple, natural fact of life, which does not offend me in the least.
I have a plan. If you are skint or near skint, you have to have a plan. In my case,
KISS -- Keep It Simple Stupid. That's what I did. I sniffed around -- and do I have a
snifter -- well, I sniffed and sniffed and finally found one -- a rich bitch perfect for all
my needs including campaign funds -- hard to get in those days.
We dogs are very political. You have heard of the dogs of war, well I was a dog for
peace. And it worked. I kept stepping up ... both politically and personally. I am a
Senator as you know and soon to be the new Secretary of State. And my latest
companion is a billionaire.
What can I say to my fellows. First, to my Junior High classmates. Hey! Who's
laughing now? But more importantly to my fellows in the dog -- or is it dog-eat-dog --
world. You've gotta have a plan. I have a plan. Always did ...
A footnote though. I would be remiss if I didn't mention my friend and fellow rich bitch
terrain traveler, the beer-battered hot dog from Arizona, for helping out with that
pesky black terrier who was after the same job. She is mad as hell, but I'll calm her
down. I have a plan ....