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The Porcupine's Quill: A Satire Column
by Arshad M. Khan
by Arshad M. Khan
Please scroll down for
the satire column
Porcupine's Quill
the satire column
Porcupine's Quill
December 1, 2013
PARDON MY POPCORN
News Item: Traditional since the Kennedy administration, the President pardons a
turkey who moves to quiet retirement. This year Popcorn was the winning turkey duly
pardoned on Wednesday.
When they first told me I was to be in a turkey contest, I was horrified -- you know
what happens to winners of turkey contests! I tried my best to lose but kept winning
... winning all the way to the White House. What an end for Popcorn I thought ....
It was an imposing ceremony. They had prepared an elaborate sacrificial altar.
Looking at it, as you can imagine, I was scared. But I told myself, it's a lot better than
an abattoir, so stand straight, and take it like a proud member of the turkey race ...
who make the ultimate sacrifice every year.
And it was the ultimate insider, the white-inside, black-outside guy leading the
ceremony. Yes, we turkeys watch TV. I remember when young Trayvon was killed
pointlessly, just because he was black, by the scary guy who's now in trouble for
beating up his girlfriend. Well, I remember the same chief honcho saying he
experienced this sort of fear and people crossing the street to avoid him when he was
a young man.
An' you know what I'm thinkin': Now that he's an older black guy, he's gone and got
himself a gang, a military, drones an' all, an' the whole world's afraid of him.
He is dressed in black top to bottom: black shoes, black pants, black overcoat, black
scarf. He is the executive. He executes. And he is coming toward me. Man, he's a
gutsy one ... going to use his bare hands -- the old fashioned way, the quick pull and
twist. They have placed me on the altar. I close my eyes and stand erect.
And, am I surprised! A change for my kind; I am spared. Well, the man did say he
liked 'change' ...
PARDON MY POPCORN
News Item: Traditional since the Kennedy administration, the President pardons a
turkey who moves to quiet retirement. This year Popcorn was the winning turkey duly
pardoned on Wednesday.
When they first told me I was to be in a turkey contest, I was horrified -- you know
what happens to winners of turkey contests! I tried my best to lose but kept winning
... winning all the way to the White House. What an end for Popcorn I thought ....
It was an imposing ceremony. They had prepared an elaborate sacrificial altar.
Looking at it, as you can imagine, I was scared. But I told myself, it's a lot better than
an abattoir, so stand straight, and take it like a proud member of the turkey race ...
who make the ultimate sacrifice every year.
And it was the ultimate insider, the white-inside, black-outside guy leading the
ceremony. Yes, we turkeys watch TV. I remember when young Trayvon was killed
pointlessly, just because he was black, by the scary guy who's now in trouble for
beating up his girlfriend. Well, I remember the same chief honcho saying he
experienced this sort of fear and people crossing the street to avoid him when he was
a young man.
An' you know what I'm thinkin': Now that he's an older black guy, he's gone and got
himself a gang, a military, drones an' all, an' the whole world's afraid of him.
He is dressed in black top to bottom: black shoes, black pants, black overcoat, black
scarf. He is the executive. He executes. And he is coming toward me. Man, he's a
gutsy one ... going to use his bare hands -- the old fashioned way, the quick pull and
twist. They have placed me on the altar. I close my eyes and stand erect.
And, am I surprised! A change for my kind; I am spared. Well, the man did say he
liked 'change' ...