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The Porcupine's Quill:  A Satire Column
by Arshad M. Khan
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the satire column
Porcupine's Quill
November 27, 2016


News Item:  Thanksgiving this year fell on November 24th.

Pass the struklji ...

Struklji!  Struklji!  I thought this was Thanksgiving ...

Yes, Doughnald, but struklji is well known, super Slovenian dish for special occasion
too ...

Okay, okay, but where's the turkey?

It's coming.  It's coming.  Next course.

You're right Melania, this whatchamacallit's good.  Hey Eric!  Try some.  You got
horse-face with you?

Stop calling her that Dad.  Yes, she'll be coming ...

It's just that she offends my ideals of being surrounded by pristine beauty (reaches
out to give Melania's hand a squeeze).

Grandpa!  Grandpa!

(Oh, I hate that word!)  Yes, young man?

Are you going to change the name of the White House?

No!  No!  No!  I can't do that.  On the other hand, son, you have put a thought in my
head ... executive orders and so forth ...

How about the Gold House?

No son, this Trump name is the first choice.  The brand is your inheritance.

Are you going to execute a lot of people like the queen in Alice?

No!  No!  But I might have to pardon a few including myself if some pesky people get
their way.

You're not serious, honey ...


Say on the gold thing, can we brighten up the oval office ...

Oh yeah!  There's gonna be gold everywhere.  I am going to get one of those Louis
something desks -- I can never get their darned numbers right -- and gold-painted
chairs ... the lot -- even gold toiletries and faucets in the bathroom ...

Don't go overboard, honey ...

Me?  Overboard?  Never.  I never go overboard.  Ask the boys.  It's going to be
amazing.  The world will see how incredible I am going to be as president.  We will
make America great again ... amazing ... people are going to be amazed ...