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The Porcupine's Quill:  A Satire Column
by Arshad M. Khan
Please scroll down for
the satire column
Porcupine's Quill
November 20, 2011


News Item:  Italian Prime Minister Silvio Berlusconi resigns.

Me ... I am-a the Bulesquepony.  I entertain, amuse, make-a the money -- so
much I don'-a know what-a to do with it.  So I do Bunga! Bunga! -- parties for
my friends who like-a the Bunga! Bunga.

I 'ave-a my fillies -- lots of 'em ... I am Italiano.  I am-a a lover, a great one.  I
never-a pay any filly;.  I am not-a ... what you say a John-a.  They all-a love me.

The Tunisian one?  Si!  Very much.  She cannot-a 'ow you say it -- 'ave-a
enough of me.  She was-a ... ooh! la! la! as the French put it.  What the
Engleesh call-a the Speetfire.  Si!  comprendo?  So I-a 'elped 'er out with the
immigration-a, no!  What are-a friends for?  eh!

Now, the debt-a this, an' the debt-a that.  Too much.  Too much-a
headache-a.  So I-a go.  More time for Bunga!  Bunga!  Heh!  Heh!  My-a fillies
are waiting.  An'-a I wan-a to be young again.

Easy!  I'ave-a plastic man ...  I mean-a surgeon.  'e stick hair, pull face -- no
not at me -- my face -- volte face ... make-a me young again.  See.

Now-a I say-a, thank you America.  Wonderful country-a.  Wonderful
people-a.  Wonderful-a, wonderful Viagra.  No!  No!  not Niagara.  I don'-a
mean the waterfall.  Viagra!  Viagra!  I-a kiss you, America.