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The Porcupine's Quill:  A Satire Column
by Arshad M. Khan
Please scroll down for
the satire column
Porcupine's Quill
November 10, 2019


News Item:  Hiyori Kon is an amateur sumo wrestling champ in Japan but unable to
compete professionally because women are banned.   

What are they afraid of?  That's all I ask.

You mean they won't give any reason ...

No, they won't, and think of all the sacrifices I have made to get where I am at age 22.

In what way is that?

I have to eat, eat, eat, though I'd rather be a swan.

Well, I can think of many women trying to keep their figures, always watching calories,
would love that.

Yes, but I have to eat to keep increasing my weight and be imposing, fearsome, and
difficult to move.

What's wrong with that?

Try getting a date ...

Have you tried the internet?

They're all scared of me.  Once I used my sister's picture.

What happened?

When he saw me, he looked scared.  He ran away when I ordered a dozen Big Macs.

What did you do?

I ate 'em and ordered a dozen more to console myself.  I have feelings too.  Just so
you know, under this imposing exterior beats a little girl's heart.

Do you dream of a fairy tale prince?

That I don't.  I always imagine how I could throw him out of a sumo ring into the
audience ...