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The Porcupine's Quill:  A Satire Column
by Arshad M. Khan
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the satire column
Porcupine's Quill

November 8, 2020


News Item: Trump loses election but refuses to concede, instead filing lawsuits
contesting results in several states.

Doughnaald!  I have to start the packing.

No you don't, Melania.  Don't you know it's a fraud.  I was winning in Pennsylvania
right to the end when suddenly this guy surges ahead.  I am telling you they packed
the ballot boxes.

But everyone says you lost . . .

What everyone!  Just the damn media led by CNN, and you know they hate me.

Oh Doughnaald!  Let's go back to New York.  I like New York.

So do I but I don't want to go back a loser . . .  especially after the amazing red wave
on election night just as I promised.  It was fantastic.

Yes it was but you lost.  Let me start pack . . .

No, no, no, Melania.  I have filed lawsuits because they stole the election.  We have
to wait for the courts to decide.

Doughnaald, you always file lawsuits.  Can I please pack.  We have to leave the
White House.

No we do not.  I am here until January 20.  That is what the 20th Amendment says.  
And after that the courts will have decided in my favor.  

Oh Doughnaald!

Stop saying that.  And you know ... I want a big, fat, juicy CHEESEBURGER . . .