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The Porcupine's Quill:
Please scroll down for
the satire column
Porcupine's Quill
the satire column
Porcupine's Quill
October 31, 2010
LUCY'S GREAT-GREAT-GREAT.... GRANDDAUGHTER
by Arshad M Khan
Christine O'Donnell, the Republican candidate for Delaware Senator who
makes her born-again Christianity a central issue in her campaign, has been
accused this week of having a one-night stand. Prior to this, there have
been numerous ethical lapses starting with a failure to pay her final bills at
her alma mater and therefore not actually receiving her graduating diploma,
etc.
Yes, Lucy is the Grandma of us all, and while I can believe that, I can not -
not, not, not - believe she is 3.2 million years old or she is a mixture of ape
and human.
The Bible says 6000 years and that's what I believe -- these evolutionists just
give us a theory and then play God trying to force us to believe it. I ask,
why?
Okay, I am now the candidate of a major party for the Senate seat once
occupied by the Vice President. Do you know why I am here and why more
people know me than my opponent?
It's simple. I know about publicity as does Lucy. I have worked in public
relations; she would have. Australopithecus Afarensis, Homo sapiens? We
are all God's children.
Now they are writing all kinds of things about me. Even a story of a
one-night stand. Can't we have more equality? They tell us we are equal to
men and then they punish us. If it had been a single man, it'd just be a nod
and a wink. Anyway I am not saying the story is true - could be a kid's fantasy
now that I am famous. Right? Anyway, it was Halloween and the witch in me
was loose.
Well, I love to run - so did Lucy, one of the world's first - and I don't mean
just a slow jog; I love to run for the Senate. My third try -- third time lucky,
eh?
One more thing... so what if I couldn't pay my bills. Money is hard to come by
- at least till this Senate run. You know Fairleigh Dickinson should have
given me my diploma, instead of the fuss they raised. It would have been
the Christian thing to do.
LUCY'S GREAT-GREAT-GREAT.... GRANDDAUGHTER
by Arshad M Khan
Christine O'Donnell, the Republican candidate for Delaware Senator who
makes her born-again Christianity a central issue in her campaign, has been
accused this week of having a one-night stand. Prior to this, there have
been numerous ethical lapses starting with a failure to pay her final bills at
her alma mater and therefore not actually receiving her graduating diploma,
etc.
Yes, Lucy is the Grandma of us all, and while I can believe that, I can not -
not, not, not - believe she is 3.2 million years old or she is a mixture of ape
and human.
The Bible says 6000 years and that's what I believe -- these evolutionists just
give us a theory and then play God trying to force us to believe it. I ask,
why?
Okay, I am now the candidate of a major party for the Senate seat once
occupied by the Vice President. Do you know why I am here and why more
people know me than my opponent?
It's simple. I know about publicity as does Lucy. I have worked in public
relations; she would have. Australopithecus Afarensis, Homo sapiens? We
are all God's children.
Now they are writing all kinds of things about me. Even a story of a
one-night stand. Can't we have more equality? They tell us we are equal to
men and then they punish us. If it had been a single man, it'd just be a nod
and a wink. Anyway I am not saying the story is true - could be a kid's fantasy
now that I am famous. Right? Anyway, it was Halloween and the witch in me
was loose.
Well, I love to run - so did Lucy, one of the world's first - and I don't mean
just a slow jog; I love to run for the Senate. My third try -- third time lucky,
eh?
One more thing... so what if I couldn't pay my bills. Money is hard to come by
- at least till this Senate run. You know Fairleigh Dickinson should have
given me my diploma, instead of the fuss they raised. It would have been
the Christian thing to do.