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The Porcupine's Quill:  A Satire Column
by Arshad M. Khan
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the satire column
Porcupine's Quill

October 25, 2020


News Item:  Biden has an 8-point lead over Trump in national polls.

So now I pack because you lose Doughnaald.

No Melania.  I do not lose, not yet.

But you are so far behind in polls.

You just don't understand our fantastic election system, Melania.

What I don't understand?  Majority wins in a democracy.  You behind, you lose.

No, no, no!  I not behind.  What am I saying, it's catching!  I am not behind.  I could
still win in the Electoral College vote.

You go to school now, Doughaald?

No, it's not school Melania.  Each of our fifty states is assigned electors who
represent their states.  They vote for the presidential candidate who won their state.  

You mean you become governor not president . . .

Oh, what's the use.  We have a crazy system.

And a president who is making me crazy when I have so much packing to organize.

Let me try to explain again . . .

Are you telling me you lose the vote and you will not leave the White House.  Then
they are right what they say about you.  

No, no, no, Melania.  If I lose, I go.

Good! You are good boy.

Now can I please have a CHEESEBURGER!