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The Porcupine's Quill:  A Satire Column
by Arshad M. Khan
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the satire column
Porcupine's Quill
October 22, 2017


News Item:  French President Emmanuel Macron's dog Nemo, a Lab-Griffon, mix,
was caught on tape relieving himself against an ornate Elysee Palace fireplace during
a recording of a meeting.

Okay, so I live in a palace.  You think that's nice?

Why did you have to lift a leg against the fireplace.

Listen to my side of it.  What do you do when your master doesn't have time to take
you for a walk at your regular time?

Why couldn't you hold it?

You know you can hold it, and you can hold it, and you can hold it.  But when you've
gotta go, you've gotta go ...

But look at you.  Everyone has seen you ...

What's the harm in that?  I am only doing something natural and essential.  What's
more, I am more famous than ever.

Infamous more likely.

No, my master is a good sport and, like all politicians, he loves publicity ... especially
publicity that makes him endearing.

So what's next now that you are a celebrity?

What do you think?  Do you think Hollywood might beckon?  You know they haven't
had a real star since Lassie and ...

Oh, they are mired in 'Director's Couch Syndrome.'  Not much time for new ideas.

What's that?

Oh, directors and producers taking sexual advantage of dreamy-eyed young starlets.

Hasn't that been going on forever?  Anyway I don't mind.  I am happy to give anyone
a hump ...