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The Porcupine's Quill:  A Satire Column
by Arshad M. Khan
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the satire column
Porcupine's Quill
October 19, 2014


News Item:  While the first cases of Ebola in Europe and the U.S. can be counted on
the fingers of one hand, the panic is evident in its mention in every newscast.

Okay!  I admit it.  I am the Ebola virus.  But how bad am I?  I am not like the influenza
virus of a century ago killing millions.  But then humans did a pretty good job killing
millions even more gruesomely in the Great War of the era.

Since the start of this particular epidemic, as you call it or 'liebensraum' from our
viewpoint -- we have to live too, if only to cull humans now and again or you would
destroy the earth -- there have been less than 5000 deaths and about 10,000 cases.

You might think that is a large number, but consider this:  during this three month
period of our resurgence, or epidemic if you prefer, 300,000 people have died in
road crashes -- impatient humans killing each other.  Yet, not a peep of remorse or
serious effort to reduce the carnage.  In the US alone, about a hundred die each day
on the roads and many times more are injured or disabled.  How many have died
from ebola?  Not a single one excluding a Liberian who arrived seriously ill.

Of course, I haven't mentioned what you call wars -- a euphemistic description of you
folks killing each other over something both sides want, or someone trying to grab
something that doesn't belong to him.  Nowadays one side is labeled terrorist.  Here
is the best part.  Whoever kills the most usually wins ... and gets to write the narrative
of the conflict. Quite naturally they vilify the losers, saying the worst things
imaginable.  That becomes history.  Anyone contesting it is labeled a crank and also
vilified.  The ones amplifying the winners' propaganda are lauded and cheered --
even Shakespeare was well aware of these facts of life.

We, on the other hand, invade humans so we can survive.  Humans kill many times
more of each other to be ... just a little more comfortable; they kill each other to get
somewhere ... just a little quicker.  That's a fact.  And, needless to say, you kill us ...
millions of us ... without qualm.