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The Porcupine's Quill: A Satire Column
by Arshad M. Khan
by Arshad M. Khan
Please scroll down for
the satire column
Porcupine's Quill
the satire column
Porcupine's Quill
October 14, 2018
MICHAEL'S WOES
News Item: Hurricane Michael devastated the Florida panhandle. The first Category
5 hurricane to hit the area, it continued as a Category 3 into Georgia.
Michael! Michael! Michael! How could you?
Please! Please don't blame me. It was the wind, the wind ... oh, the wind?
You were just heartless.
I am so full of guilt. I tell you, I'll be seeing a psychic for the rest of my life.
Psychic? Don't you mean a psychiatrist?
Psychic, psychiatrist, what do I know? Whatever you humans use for being uneasy in
your minds ...
Couldn't you imagine what would happen?
How could I?
How can you be so, insensitive?
I am telling you it's not my fault.
Then whose is it?
Look, all I did was take a ride on a wind merry-go-round ...
So you were playing ... how uncaring ...
You are hurting my feelings. As I spun around, the wind just took over, fiercer than
I've ever known, spinning me round and round and round and round. I was so dizzy I
don't remember any more ...
What an excuse?
I am telling you, it's the truth. We can always stop and get off though some can be
naughty I know. But this, this was different, out of control. It's global warming ... it's
what you humans have been doing to the environment.
So you are blaming us now ...
I am simply telling you the way it is. You have to stop or you'll destroy yourselves ...
MICHAEL'S WOES
News Item: Hurricane Michael devastated the Florida panhandle. The first Category
5 hurricane to hit the area, it continued as a Category 3 into Georgia.
Michael! Michael! Michael! How could you?
Please! Please don't blame me. It was the wind, the wind ... oh, the wind?
You were just heartless.
I am so full of guilt. I tell you, I'll be seeing a psychic for the rest of my life.
Psychic? Don't you mean a psychiatrist?
Psychic, psychiatrist, what do I know? Whatever you humans use for being uneasy in
your minds ...
Couldn't you imagine what would happen?
How could I?
How can you be so, insensitive?
I am telling you it's not my fault.
Then whose is it?
Look, all I did was take a ride on a wind merry-go-round ...
So you were playing ... how uncaring ...
You are hurting my feelings. As I spun around, the wind just took over, fiercer than
I've ever known, spinning me round and round and round and round. I was so dizzy I
don't remember any more ...
What an excuse?
I am telling you, it's the truth. We can always stop and get off though some can be
naughty I know. But this, this was different, out of control. It's global warming ... it's
what you humans have been doing to the environment.
So you are blaming us now ...
I am simply telling you the way it is. You have to stop or you'll destroy yourselves ...