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The Porcupine's Quill:  A Satire Column
by Arshad M. Khan
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the satire column
Porcupine's Quill
October 13, 2019


News Item:  Turkey attacks northeastern Syria and the Kurds.

Mr. Turkey, I have come to ask you about the war.

What war?

In Syria.

Are you nuts?  The only war I am concerned about is Thanksgiving and Christmas.  
It's my funeral ...

Sorry Mr. Turkey.  Everyone loves you.

Sure.  Only humans can love you to death, then at the funeral, eat the corpse.

So who's doing the war in Syria?

Don't you know?  It's a human of course .. a guy called Erdogan.

Dugan?  Sounds Irish to me ...

No, no.  He's a Turk ... just missing the 'key'.  If you ask me, he's got a lot more
missing besides ...

What's that?

You'll find out.  One thing good though, he doesn't celebrate Thanksgiving nor eat
much turkey.

With cranberry sauce (a dreamy look) ... doesn't know what he's missing ...

As I told you before, he's missing a lot, and will you stop talking about eating turkey.

I am really sorry but I began to see you in a new light ...

You mean as a delicious roast.  I can tell by the look in your eyes and the drool at the
lips.  Get outta here ...