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The Porcupine's Quill:  A Satire Column
by Arshad M. Khan
Please scroll down for
the satire column
Porcupine's Quill
Sept 30, 2012


News Item:  The confrontational tactics of Chicago Mayor Rahm Emmanuel resulted
in the first teachers strike in Chicago in twenty-five years.

Yep!  I love to dance, and I love to f-----' swear!  AND I can blow my own horn.  That's
also because my fellow sheep have given me so much money I can put ads on TV
where I tell the folks what a great job I did in the teachers strike.

Why do you love to swear?

Oh, that's f-----' simple.  When you're a kid, I mean lamb, in school and a ballet
dancer AND a foot shorter than everyone else, you have to f-----' swear, or you're
gonna get killed on the playground.

So, coming back to the strike, didn't the kids lose all those school days?

Nah! we're gonna make em up.  Plus you see they'll have a longer school day ...
learn more.

What makes you think a longer school day makes them learn more?

Stands to reason!  Put more in their f-----' heads, more will stick.

In Europe ...

Don't talk to me about Europe.  They eat too much lamb.

Well, just Finland then, which consistently has the best scores for its students.  Are
you aware that they have the shortest school day?

Hey, buddy!  What are you trying to f-----' say?  The m----- f----- Finns are smarter
than everyone else?

The teachers say you first tried to hustle them, then bully and harass them.  Is that
not true?

F-----' sh--!  I learned a lot on the school playground; f-----' works, doesn't it?