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The Porcupine's Quill:  A Satire Column
by Arshad M. Khan
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the satire column
Porcupine's Quill
September 15, 2019


News Item:  Trump has now spent more time in golf clubs than any other president.

Why is it that you have two caddies Mr. President?

Oh, there is a good reason for that, I did not want to deny myself on the golf course
any longer.

Deny yourself what sir, you're already enjoying golf?

You'll see (sets up and drives the ball).  I think I am ready (nods to the new caddie
who is carrying a large box in front of him with a robust strap around his neck)

As he walks towards his ball, Trump explains:  The idea came to me in the bath while I
was playing with my favorite ducky.  I would hold it under and it would pop right up.

That's like a toaster.

I thought cook does that.  Anyway, I have this gizmo (takes his next shot and
continues) with two very small pop-up machines and battery-powered heaters.  Smart
isn't it?  That's why I'm president, not Hillary.

Popping up noises come from the box and the caddie comes up to the president.

Ah!  Thank you!  Am I ready for it ...


Of course, bite-sized.  Melania wants me to lose weight.  But she doesn't know.  I
have one after every hole, heh!  heh!  chuckles as he eats ...