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The Porcupine's Quill:  A Satire Column
by Arshad M. Khan
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the satire column
Porcupine's Quill
September 14, 2014


News Item:  President Francois Hollande visits Iraq and promises to join in the fight
against ISIS.

Me!  I am French.  It is more natural for me to make love not war.  But what would I
not do for friends ... especially big brother across the big Atlantic Ocean which has
unfortunately shrunk.  Now big brother breathes down my neck ...

How is that?

Can't even sell ships to Russians -- they have money, we need jobs ... and ships are
almost ready.  Still, I hope ... after this intervention ...

So what will you provide?

As I say ... we prefer not to fight.  May be we could do reconnaissance ...

Can't the Americans do it themselves?

Oui!  Oui!  But then how can we make a 'coalition of the willing'?

We hear you buzz around on your scooter at night ... Will you not take the lead as
leaders of old did during war ... go to the head of the troops ... lead the

Non!  Non!  Non!  As I say before ... I make love not war.  My scooter is like a white
horse and I am the Knight in Shining Armor ready to woo maidens in distress ...

Matrons rather .. and the distress seems to come after ...  It is no longer clear who is
the first lady ...

I am French and I am a poodle, but each one is a first lady or lady first ... you
choose.  I never use the b-word.