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The Porcupine's Quill:  A Satire Column
by Arshad M. Khan
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the satire column
Porcupine's Quill
September 13, 2015


News Item:  Kim Davis, who refused to sign gay marriage licenses, and was jailed for
contempt, has been released.  The licenses will be signed by a deputy and stamped
'by court order.'

What's the matter Jack?  You look awful.

Oh, I'm just really depressed ... looking over my life.

I know it's been a road of twists and turns, but I thought you handled it pretty well.  
Weren't you married to Michael at one point?

He was the love of my life ... but he left me ...

Go off with another man did he?

No, it was worse. To add insult to injury, he married a woman.

A woman!  How awful for you.  What did you do?

What could I do.  I had to get even.  So I married a woman too.

You did what?

I married a woman.

How could you!  How did that go?

Well, it must have been something intuitive in my choice.  She began to feel
uncomfortable in her skin, her gender.  To cut a long story short ... she became a

But what happened to your marriage?

Well, nothing actually ... that is, until ....

Until what?

It must have been her, I mean, his example ... I began to feel urges I had never felt
before ...

Like what, what?

It was, sort of, out of my control.  I wanted to dress in women's clothes, which I did,
but over time I began to experience an overwhelming desire to be like that ... all the

Really!  What did you do?

What could I do ... I became a woman.  We had become a husband and wife couple
... in a turnabout sort of way.  But it did not last ...

What happened?

My husband was not at all happy with this arrangement and he left me ... took up with
a man actually ...

So what did you do?

Well, I was depressed for quite a while.  But then Pat came into my life.

He provided the support and companionship you'd lost, did he?

Well, yes, but you misunderstood ...

How was that?

Pat's a woman ...

You mean you were now a lesbian couple.

Yes, in a way.  I seem to have done the rounds.

I'd say.  How amazing ...

Nothing amazing about it.  I just followed my feelings.  And then Pat wanted to follow
her feelings.

Don't tell me ... she became a man ...

No,no, no.  Nothing like that.  She wanted a child ...

And ...

Well, it was something I could still provide ... and we had a beautiful son.  It was a
wonderful time ... we were very happy.  But as he grew older and had playmates, he
noticed their fathers ...

He wanted a father too, I imagine ...

He did, and you know this woman thing I seemed to be kinda tiring of ... maybe
growing out of it.

So, what happened?

I began to dress up as a man again ... during weekdays.  It kept my son contented ...
taking him to school and all that.  And I would be a woman on weekends ... for Pat.

Must have been confusing for your son.

Damn right it was ... and a mistake.  So I decided I'd be a full-time man during days
and become a woman for Pat behind a closed bedroom door.

So why are you depressed?

Well, our son is now away at college.  That's one reason, and the second reason is
Pat wants me to be a woman all the time now ... and I don't want to.

I think you'll work it out.  All happy couples work things out eventually.

Hope so.  Anyway talking to you has made me feel better already.

Live and let live.  That's what I like to say ...