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The Porcupine's Quill:  A Satire Column
by Arshad M. Khan
Please scroll down for
the satire column
Porcupine's Quill
September 2, 2012


News Item: New Jersey Governor Chris Christie delivers the keynote address at the
Republican Convention.

Hip, Hip, Hippo-o-o, that's me. And I am proud to be me. Brought up by a mother and
father who valued education; walked to school, uphill both ways, and at least four
miles within a foot or two. And so did I.

I am the embodiment of the American dream: you work hard, play by the rules -
almost - and achieve your goals. You don't need government programs. In fact we
want government off our backs.

I have given the government a chance. The Grande Ollama's lady has a childhood
obesity program.  Stretching things a bit - I always am - I gave it a shot. Now look at
me:  I am a perfect example of yet another failed government program.

We want less taxes, less government, less of everything - keep our borders shut
tight, that would help.

Privatize. That would help. My extended Hippo family is quite willing to take the
contract to patrol the river borders. We can guarantee a better job than the Border