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The Porcupine's Quill: A Satire Column
by Arshad M. Khan
Please scroll down for
the satire column
August 30, 2020
THE DOGS' VIEW
News Item: Trump accepted his nomination by the Republicans in a White house
South Lawn ceremony with countless US flags behind him.
Say Bertie, you're an Afghan hound. Didn't you see a close resemblance ... are they
No Frenchie, they're not. They're human females.
But those ears Bertie. Just like yours.
That's their hair, Frenchie. The ears are the little holes hidden under, and ...
No wonder humans can't hear very well Bertie. And they can't smell worth a damn
with those mini-noses.
Yeah, stupid aren't they. We love 'em though. They are nice. We lie around. They
get us our food, take us for walks when we want to go, play with us when we want to
play. Ah! It's a good life. Say Frenchie, you're a poodle, and you've got that shiny,
curly hair. You think some of them moosed up things we saw up there are related to
No, no, no, Bertie. Not a chance. They just want to look like us to appear smart.
Didn't succeed Frenchie. You're a lot smarter.
Say Bertie, what was that orange-headed thing out there. First, I thought it was an
orangutan but the rest of it was blue and the face pink.
No it wasn't, Frenchie, though I admit I too was fooled at first. But orangies are
vegetarian, and when it started shouting, 'GET ME A CHEESEBURGER', I knew it
Was it a good show then Bertie?
A family affair Frenchie. Showed you one thing though ...
What's that Bertie?
Money can't buy good taste ...
You're a snob Bertie, but you can say that again, oh boy, can you say that again!