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The Porcupine's Quill:  A Satire Column
by Arshad M. Khan
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the satire column
Porcupine's Quill
August 26, 2018


News Item:  A lion cub, a tiger cub and Golden Retriever puppies play happily
together, nursed by the puppies' mother at a Beijing wildlife park.  Meanwhile Trump
continues to be belligerent towards China and North Korea.

Look at them play together.  They could teach us ...

Teach us what:  I am a full-grown pitbull and I am angry.  You got the nuclear football
with all the codes and so on.  I'm getting an itchy trigger finger ...

But think about the lovely cubs and puppies ...

I did.

But what about the billion people ...

They all want to come here; I'd rather have Scandinavians ...

... who don't.  But think of all the designer things your wife buys.  Who would make

Save me some money.

Then think of all your ties made specially long to go around that pitbull neck.

Now that's another thing.  Hmm ... what about that other pesky place with the weird
hairdo guy?

But that's us, Sir ...

What the hell do you mean?  I'm talking about the guy wanting to send a missile
here.  I had to remind him my nuclear button was a helluva lot bigger.

Oh, you mean North Korea ...

Yeah!  Bring the football.

But Sir, Mike Pompeo is going to be there.

All the better ..... um .... perhaps not.  Call him back.  Damn I do have an itchy finger
today.  Any other prospects?

There's Putin ...

No, no, no!  How many times do I have to tell you.  He's a friend ...  plus he's got
enough bombs to destroy us and the planet.  Let me see now ... there's ...