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The Porcupine's Quill:  A Satire Column
by Arshad M. Khan
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the satire column
Porcupine's Quill
August 16, 2015


News Item:  DNA tests prove conclusively President Warren G. Harding fathered a
daughter out of wedlock.  He had no other children.

Warren's a kindred spirit Hil ...

Something you haven't told me Bill?  Look, I'm very busy, with all this email stuff.

No, no, Hil ... it's just ... I've been talking to him.

You gettin' soft in the head, Bill?  Old age and all that, but come on ...

I don't mean face to face.  His spirit came in my sleep.

You mean like the spirit of Christmas past ... 'cause I can tell you Bill, that Christmas
is over.

You get it wrong, Hil.  He was just trying to make me feel better ... you know, just
reassure me everything would be fine up there.

Don't tell me ... the whole sorry gang is waiting for you.

No, it's just much calmer ...

Couldn't be calmer than dead ...

You do have a way Hil.  Anyway, he was so pleased to know he actually had a
daughter, and grand children, and so on ...

How nice, I've gotta go.

He did say this life is not repeated ... to have as much fun as you can ...

Cut it out!