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The Porcupine's Quill:  A Satire Column
by Arshad M. Khan
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the satire column
Porcupine's Quill
August 2, 2020


News Item:  UK Prime Minister Boris Johnson names own brother to House of Lords
and makes him a peer of the realm.

Well, Jo, here we are.  You are for the Lords.

Nothing like a kick upstairs when someone disagrees with you, eh ...

And I thought you would be pleased.

I am of course.  But you didn't have to make me one of a crowd.  You know what the
newspapers will say ,,.

I know.  Cronyism and nepotism ...

Especially when you yourself, Boris, were so critical of Tony Blair awarding peerages
to friends.  Do you remember what you said then?

Yeah, I know ... 'the lunches, the behind-the-scenes schmoozing and fixing ... the
winking, the nose-tapping.'  I know, I said it.

Then what do you have to say for yourself?

So what?  The money guys help us and we give them gongs.  Makes them feel good
and look good to their friends and they all give us more money.

Think of the poor Queen.  At 94 do you think she has the energy to wave that sword
around knighting all our friends ...

Oh, she's a spry old girl, Jo.  Don't worry about her.

By the way, how about Carrie, the old ball-and-chain ... seeing what's going on
around her, she probably wants to be a baroness ...

No, no, no.  Not at all.  A mattr...ess keeps her perfectly happy ... fortunately ...

You dog!