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The Porcupine's Quill: A Satire Column
by Arshad M. Khan
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the satire column
Porcupine's Quill

July 29, 2018
A TOM'S TRAVAILS
News Item: A tape recording shows Trump discussing a payoff to playboy model
Karen McDougal is published by CNN.
Fake news! Fake news!
What do you mean? They have your voice on tape ...
I am tweeting now I hate that word. I ... er ... eat little tweeting birds. I prefer
meowing, even howling. Anyway, what sounds like, 'Don't pay cash' is not.
Really!
Yes, I actually said 'Don't pay cat'. Cash is not a person.. I am meowing it out on my
twitter.
So what about this McDougal babe?
Great boobs!
I though you said it was all a lie.
That's what I mean. She's full of boobs, Dumb you know ...
Doesn't seem like it. She won her lawsuit.
Crooked lawyers. Can't trust 'em.
You're just finding out?
I've had enough experience. Excuse me. I need to howl again. It calms me down, so
I can sleep.
Like a sleeping pill or a narcotic. You're hooked.
Listen! I'm amazing ... howoool! ... incredible ... howoool! ... fantastic ... howoool!
And you say, you're not addicted.
Yes, not addicted and innocent ... howoool! ... howoool!