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The Porcupine's Quill: A Satire Column
by Arshad M. Khan
by Arshad M. Khan
Please scroll down for
the satire column
Porcupine's Quill
the satire column
Porcupine's Quill
July 24, 2011
THE MONKEYS' LAMENT: BIG MUCKRUCK, LITTLE MUCKRUCK AND
MUCKRUCK'S MUCKRUCK
News Item: The Murdocks, father and son, and Rebecca Brooks all claim
knowing nothing about the goings-on at the News of the World.
We are the three you-know-whos: I see no evil; I hear no evil; I speak no
evil. We are the wise triumvirate.
Now we know everyone is saying terrible
things about us. But we trusted those
under us; they trusted those under them;
these trusted those under them ... . We
are a vast organization. In the end all of
these good people, personally selected
by us, or by those selected by those selected by us, or by those selected by
them ... you get the idea ... all of us are greatly saddened, and feel let down
by the unethical lowest tier of our organization. And not even all of those
were involved. Remember, the News of the World was less than one
percent of our company.
Foreign corrupt practices, domestic corrupt practices ... we are against all of
them. We are but honest hard-working folk, who have built up a company of
our size from almost nothing. It is not that we know nothing about these
things; it is just that we can only be amazed by politicians who have made
bribery legal, and are raking it in by the millions for very comfortable
retirements. We don't envy them; we just bring it to light. It's our job.
THE MONKEYS' LAMENT: BIG MUCKRUCK, LITTLE MUCKRUCK AND
MUCKRUCK'S MUCKRUCK
News Item: The Murdocks, father and son, and Rebecca Brooks all claim
knowing nothing about the goings-on at the News of the World.
We are the three you-know-whos: I see no evil; I hear no evil; I speak no
evil. We are the wise triumvirate.
Now we know everyone is saying terrible
things about us. But we trusted those
under us; they trusted those under them;
these trusted those under them ... . We
are a vast organization. In the end all of
these good people, personally selected
by us, or by those selected by those selected by us, or by those selected by
them ... you get the idea ... all of us are greatly saddened, and feel let down
by the unethical lowest tier of our organization. And not even all of those
were involved. Remember, the News of the World was less than one
percent of our company.
Foreign corrupt practices, domestic corrupt practices ... we are against all of
them. We are but honest hard-working folk, who have built up a company of
our size from almost nothing. It is not that we know nothing about these
things; it is just that we can only be amazed by politicians who have made
bribery legal, and are raking it in by the millions for very comfortable
retirements. We don't envy them; we just bring it to light. It's our job.
