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The Porcupine's Quill:  A Satire Column
by Arshad M. Khan
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the satire column
Porcupine's Quill
July 17, 2016


News Item:  The Republican Convention begins tomorrow.

So what is trumpery?

Thieving, thuggery.  Add bully, vanity, vainglory and a very large dose of P. T.
Barnum.  Once you've tasted it, you never forget it.

And boar taint?

Once you've tasted it ...

I see, you never forget it.

That's why they do what they do to boars ...

You don't mean ... you gotta be kidding!

You mean to Trump?  No, no, no!  We are not in the middle ages ... maybe the
saurian.  There'll be plenty of those on display next week.  No, what I am saying is,
look at him ...  you don't need to.  That unhealthy bloat's taken care of it.

What about Melania?  He's kept her under wraps -- the bimbo factor.

Don't worry an army of speechwriters are busy studying the speeches of other
prospective first ladies at previous conventions.  She just has to read a teleprompter.

You mean they cherry pick the best to bring out the softer side.

Yes, in their own words of course.  We just get introduced to her, and that is what the
speech is for.

And the boar taint?

The place is likely to be heavy with it.  Can't help but say it.  He hogs the limelight.

You mean like when he introduced Mike Pence as his VP pick ...