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The Porcupine's Quill: A Satire Column
by Arshad M. Khan
by Arshad M. Khan
Please scroll down for
the satire column
Porcupine's Quill
the satire column
Porcupine's Quill
July 14, 2019
IRAN VERSUS GOLF
News Item: Jeffrey Epstein, a billionaire former buddy of Donald Trump, has been
charged with sex-trafficking minors.
Whew! That was close. How old were those damn girls he used to have at his
mansion?
I don't know sir. I wasn't there.
Of course I know you weren't there. I was just thinking out loud. I remember one ...
(smiles to himself) ...
About Iran sir. The supreme leader is Ayatollah Ali Khamanei and ...
And I was just reliving a fantastic memory. Can't it wait?
Well sir he's made an important statement.
I knew they'd come around.
That's exactly it. They haven't. He does not want to deal with us at all.
Can't I have an afternoon alone. Where's Melania?
In Florida, sir.
Florida! Why?
You sent her there sir.
Oh well! Get the golf clubs. (Mumbles to himself) Maybe I shouldn't have broken up
with Epstein. But he's such a jerk. (Then to the aide) And don't forget the
cheeseburgers. Tell the club to get my suite ready. I'll be there til Monday.
Monday! But its only Tuesday now.
So what? I do my best thinking at a golf course. But first, before everything else, get
me a CHEESEBURGER!
YES, SIR!
IRAN VERSUS GOLF
News Item: Jeffrey Epstein, a billionaire former buddy of Donald Trump, has been
charged with sex-trafficking minors.
Whew! That was close. How old were those damn girls he used to have at his
mansion?
I don't know sir. I wasn't there.
Of course I know you weren't there. I was just thinking out loud. I remember one ...
(smiles to himself) ...
About Iran sir. The supreme leader is Ayatollah Ali Khamanei and ...
And I was just reliving a fantastic memory. Can't it wait?
Well sir he's made an important statement.
I knew they'd come around.
That's exactly it. They haven't. He does not want to deal with us at all.
Can't I have an afternoon alone. Where's Melania?
In Florida, sir.
Florida! Why?
You sent her there sir.
Oh well! Get the golf clubs. (Mumbles to himself) Maybe I shouldn't have broken up
with Epstein. But he's such a jerk. (Then to the aide) And don't forget the
cheeseburgers. Tell the club to get my suite ready. I'll be there til Monday.
Monday! But its only Tuesday now.
So what? I do my best thinking at a golf course. But first, before everything else, get
me a CHEESEBURGER!
YES, SIR!