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The Porcupine's Quill: A Satire Column
by Arshad M. Khan
by Arshad M. Khan
Please scroll down for
the satire column
Porcupine's Quill
the satire column
Porcupine's Quill
June 30, 2013
THE GIRAFFIN WATCHES
News Item: President Obama is on an African tour, or more precisely a visit to
Senegal, South Africa and Tanzania.
Excuse me, Sir, but what are you?
Well, just look at me ... that my family is sui generis is a simple fact -- my father was a
really adventurous giraffe and, I don't have to tell you, my mother was a griffin.
But why have you called us here ... you have managed to stay invisible for so long ...
Yes, yes, yes! I know. But we want to be in the open. We want to assure you, all of
you ... the people in Africa ... that what we do is to keep you safe.
Oh my God!
No, no, no! Nothing to worry about. With my long neck and better than Superman
eyes. I see everything ... through everything; with my magical ears, I hear everything;
and with my supercomputer brain, I never forget anything. We are keeping Africa
safe. You have nothing to fear. We are watching you.
Friend and foe alike?
Yes, absolutely necessary -- friends, to keep you safe; foes, to keep our friends
safe. Think of me as your friendly Lab barking an early warning and my boss as your
Big Brother watching over his family ...
And who exactly is your boss?
Oh, I thought you knew ... you must know ... of course his Imperial Supremeness, or
is it Supreme Imperiousness ... I forget which ... the Grand Ollama. Who else? He
offered me so much money, my magical eyes popped out of their sockets. But then
he has billions to spend ... drops a billion on vacations alone ... Just so you also
know, by the way, my siblings work for him across the world ...
THE GIRAFFIN WATCHES
News Item: President Obama is on an African tour, or more precisely a visit to
Senegal, South Africa and Tanzania.
Excuse me, Sir, but what are you?
Well, just look at me ... that my family is sui generis is a simple fact -- my father was a
really adventurous giraffe and, I don't have to tell you, my mother was a griffin.
But why have you called us here ... you have managed to stay invisible for so long ...
Yes, yes, yes! I know. But we want to be in the open. We want to assure you, all of
you ... the people in Africa ... that what we do is to keep you safe.
Oh my God!
No, no, no! Nothing to worry about. With my long neck and better than Superman
eyes. I see everything ... through everything; with my magical ears, I hear everything;
and with my supercomputer brain, I never forget anything. We are keeping Africa
safe. You have nothing to fear. We are watching you.
Friend and foe alike?
Yes, absolutely necessary -- friends, to keep you safe; foes, to keep our friends
safe. Think of me as your friendly Lab barking an early warning and my boss as your
Big Brother watching over his family ...
And who exactly is your boss?
Oh, I thought you knew ... you must know ... of course his Imperial Supremeness, or
is it Supreme Imperiousness ... I forget which ... the Grand Ollama. Who else? He
offered me so much money, my magical eyes popped out of their sockets. But then
he has billions to spend ... drops a billion on vacations alone ... Just so you also
know, by the way, my siblings work for him across the world ...