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The Porcupine's Quill: A Satire Column
by Arshad M. Khan
by Arshad M. Khan
Please scroll down for
the satire column
Porcupine's Quill
the satire column
Porcupine's Quill
June 28, 2019
ANTIVIRAL ALPACA
News Item: Alpaca antibodies fight coronavirus successfully by targeting its spikes.
These humans they never have enough.
Why, what have they done?
Well, they cut off our wool to make themselves warm.
Oh, it's not too bad, it grows again ...
Well, I don't like it ... not shivering in winter.
You always exaggerate like most males. They cut it after winter, and personally I
don't mind my hair being styled.
Women! Style, style, style. That's all they think about. Why, it makes me look
smaller, and I have to fight against other males for the likes of you.
(Coyly) Your problem!
Yeah! But wait 'til you hear what humans are doing now. You know Tyson who
emigrated to Germany enticed by fancy goodies.
Yes, what happened?
They infected him with the coronavirus.
What beasts and they call us animals. I think humans is a dirtier word. What
happened to dear Ty ...
I know you had a soft spot for him. Well, good old Ty. He shrugged off the
coronavirus like a dead flea.
That's good. He was always tough.
Maybe not. The blood suckers are using the antibodies in his blood to help other
humans ... you know, make an antiviral drug out of it.
Ty will manage. He always could. (Wistfully) Oh, he must be proud. He's famous
now. ...
ANTIVIRAL ALPACA
News Item: Alpaca antibodies fight coronavirus successfully by targeting its spikes.
These humans they never have enough.
Why, what have they done?
Well, they cut off our wool to make themselves warm.
Oh, it's not too bad, it grows again ...
Well, I don't like it ... not shivering in winter.
You always exaggerate like most males. They cut it after winter, and personally I
don't mind my hair being styled.
Women! Style, style, style. That's all they think about. Why, it makes me look
smaller, and I have to fight against other males for the likes of you.
(Coyly) Your problem!
Yeah! But wait 'til you hear what humans are doing now. You know Tyson who
emigrated to Germany enticed by fancy goodies.
Yes, what happened?
They infected him with the coronavirus.
What beasts and they call us animals. I think humans is a dirtier word. What
happened to dear Ty ...
I know you had a soft spot for him. Well, good old Ty. He shrugged off the
coronavirus like a dead flea.
That's good. He was always tough.
Maybe not. The blood suckers are using the antibodies in his blood to help other
humans ... you know, make an antiviral drug out of it.
Ty will manage. He always could. (Wistfully) Oh, he must be proud. He's famous
now. ...