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The Porcupine's Quill: A Satire Column
by Arshad M. Khan
by Arshad M. Khan
Please scroll down for
the satire column
Porcupine's Quill
the satire column
Porcupine's Quill
May 12, 2019
GOLF STORY
News Item: The Independent, a British newspaper has a story on its website claiming
Trump cheats at golf.
Cheat? Cheat? Me, cheat at golf. Why would I?
To win.
I am the best in my club. I don't need to. And I can always buy another club to be
best at when I am not.
There's a story you muscled a 10-year old you were playing against ...
I was playing his father and he just tagged along.
What were you playing for?
Cheeseburgers of course. I don't drink. Part of why I am so healthy at my age ... and
I take my golf seriously.
Some are saying more so than your duties at the White House ...
Nonsense. Those duties I can delegate. The golf I cannot.
What about hot-button issues like Iran now?
Yeah Iran. Too bad those Ayatollahs don't play golf. I have made many a deal on
the golf course.
What about the cheating?
Cheating? Cheating? There you go again. Don't look at me ... ever bought a carpet
from an Iranian.
No different from art dealers in general. But have you not thought about your legacy?
All the time. That's why I have this great idea for the White House. I am going to
build a golf course on its lawn -- at least as many holes as will fit. Tiger Woods is
going to be the consultant. The best, yes -- save the best till the last. I plan to have
a hamburger stand at the final hole.
A what?
A stand serving my favorite cheeseburgers ...
GOLF STORY
News Item: The Independent, a British newspaper has a story on its website claiming
Trump cheats at golf.
Cheat? Cheat? Me, cheat at golf. Why would I?
To win.
I am the best in my club. I don't need to. And I can always buy another club to be
best at when I am not.
There's a story you muscled a 10-year old you were playing against ...
I was playing his father and he just tagged along.
What were you playing for?
Cheeseburgers of course. I don't drink. Part of why I am so healthy at my age ... and
I take my golf seriously.
Some are saying more so than your duties at the White House ...
Nonsense. Those duties I can delegate. The golf I cannot.
What about hot-button issues like Iran now?
Yeah Iran. Too bad those Ayatollahs don't play golf. I have made many a deal on
the golf course.
What about the cheating?
Cheating? Cheating? There you go again. Don't look at me ... ever bought a carpet
from an Iranian.
No different from art dealers in general. But have you not thought about your legacy?
All the time. That's why I have this great idea for the White House. I am going to
build a golf course on its lawn -- at least as many holes as will fit. Tiger Woods is
going to be the consultant. The best, yes -- save the best till the last. I plan to have
a hamburger stand at the final hole.
A what?
A stand serving my favorite cheeseburgers ...