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The Porcupine's Quill:  A Satire Column
by Arshad M. Khan
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the satire column
Porcupine's Quill
May 6, 2019


News Item:  Joe Biden enters the presidential race.

Hey, we had almost forgotten him.

Remember he was elected to the senate at 30, the minimum age for a senator.

And he served six terms before Obama chose him for vice president.

All true.  Then he ran for president and ...

And he repeatedly cribbed other politicians speeches ...

Well, passages paraphrased even when they did not quite match his own

Shows he has a good ear for a turn of phrase.

Has Irish ancestry after all.

He was caught cribbing in law school too.

Said he didn't quite understand citations at first.

After 4 years of college, and it was several pages ...

Others have had similar problems.

You mean Edward Kennedy kicked out of Harvard.

Yes, and the American public forgave him.

There is the touchy-feely aspect of Biden also.

You mean Trump-lite.

Imagine an election on this issue.

You mean, 'Hey, I only smelled hair and touched lightly.  That other guy is abusive.'

And the other guy says, 'When I go after something I aim to get it'.

With his reputation already discounted in voters' minds, Trump will probably win this

But what about the issues like the environment?

When did the American voter start to care about things like that?  Just wallet issues ...

And personalities ...