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The Porcupine's Quill: A Satire Column
by Arshad M. Khan
by Arshad M. Khan
Please scroll down for
the satire column
Porcupine's Quill
the satire column
Porcupine's Quill
May 3, 2020
CORONA CURE?
News Item: No let up in deaths from the coronavirus as president touts vaccine.
I have amazing news. Our fantastic scientists, the best in the world, tell me a vaccine
is around the corner.
We have been told that before Mr. President, but were you not against vaccines
yourself at one time?
Whether I am for something, or against another, is all a matter of time and place.
Like Kim Jong Un ...
What do you mean?
He is your friend and he's not giving up nuclear weapons.
You should give the guy a break. He can't drop out of sight for a couple of weeks
without all kinds of speculation.
He did disappear for the late grandfather's birthday celebration which is a big thing
there.
May be he wants to make changes and move away from the past.
Can we quote you on that? By the way, any truth to the rumor he was at an exclusive
spa for senior government officials trying to lose weight, and that the doctors got him
out quick when they heard he was saying, he could kill for some kimchi?
You can write what you want but for all you know, he might just have been on an
eating binge, or even sick.
You mean he has the coronavirus ...
There you go again. By the way, how many of you have had the virus? None that I
can see. Now who do you think you should be grateful to?
The common sense of the American people?
Listen the American people are the greatest, the most amazing, the most fantastic,
the smartest. It's why they elected me. They knew I could take care of them.
Meaning you are ...
No! Meaning they are ultimately keeping you safe ... by electing me. I am a winner,
the virus is a loser. Now get me outta here. It's time for my CHEESEBURGER. It's
what keeps me healthy and ...
CORONA CURE?
News Item: No let up in deaths from the coronavirus as president touts vaccine.
I have amazing news. Our fantastic scientists, the best in the world, tell me a vaccine
is around the corner.
We have been told that before Mr. President, but were you not against vaccines
yourself at one time?
Whether I am for something, or against another, is all a matter of time and place.
Like Kim Jong Un ...
What do you mean?
He is your friend and he's not giving up nuclear weapons.
You should give the guy a break. He can't drop out of sight for a couple of weeks
without all kinds of speculation.
He did disappear for the late grandfather's birthday celebration which is a big thing
there.
May be he wants to make changes and move away from the past.
Can we quote you on that? By the way, any truth to the rumor he was at an exclusive
spa for senior government officials trying to lose weight, and that the doctors got him
out quick when they heard he was saying, he could kill for some kimchi?
You can write what you want but for all you know, he might just have been on an
eating binge, or even sick.
You mean he has the coronavirus ...
There you go again. By the way, how many of you have had the virus? None that I
can see. Now who do you think you should be grateful to?
The common sense of the American people?
Listen the American people are the greatest, the most amazing, the most fantastic,
the smartest. It's why they elected me. They knew I could take care of them.
Meaning you are ...
No! Meaning they are ultimately keeping you safe ... by electing me. I am a winner,
the virus is a loser. Now get me outta here. It's time for my CHEESEBURGER. It's
what keeps me healthy and ...