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The Porcupine's Quill:  A Satire Column
by Arshad M. Khan
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the satire column
Porcupine's Quill
April 28, 2013


Forgive me.  Last time I was so carried away singing the praises of my favorite
country, I forgot completely to tell you my tale, or, as they say in America, discuss my
personal journey.

I was born into one of the oldest civilizations in this world.  My ancestors have shared
man's experience over thousands of years in this fertile land between the Tigris and
the Euphrates.

And me?  I was lucky to land on the head of a young officer and prospered as he
rose to the pinnacle of power.  The exotic marmalades and the expensive whisky that
seeped through to us left us in a state of euphoria during the day and bliss at night.

It was not to last and we ended up in a rabbit warren.  The next few days are a blur
as they picked and probed my host.  Knowing when to move is our secret of survival.  
We picked a man hovering around us all the time.

Not a bad move except he kept us on our toes with his habit of frequent showering
and scrubbing.  He took us to America ... but he could never stay in one place.

Great place, America.  Big people with shiny big white teeth in big mouths; shiny big
cars with shiny chrome frills.  When they come at you, to me they looked the same.

Within a year we were gone.  Traveled everywhere:  Afghanistan, Pakistan, even
Iran, Yemen, Somalia ...   Wherever we went, there was plenty for me and my family
to drink.  What variety -- they were good times.

Then we landed in Libya, where I made a big mistake ... the worst of my life.  I'll tell
you about it next week.