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The Porcupine's Quill:  A Satire Column
by Arshad M. Khan
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the satire column
Porcupine's Quill
April 14, 2019


News Item:  The touchy-feely Joe Biden enters the presidential race ... but this is the
#MeToo generation.

You mean he and the you-know-who are the same ...

No way.  He's just a groper and feeler.

You got it wrong.  It's a feeler, groper.

What's the diff?

He feels about like a snake in the grass, then gropes when there is no resistance.

Anyway, as I was saying, the you-know-who is a grabber.  He just grabs you.

What kinda critter is that?

It could be anything.  Take your pick.

You mean like a cat, maybe a dog, even a rat ...

What do you mean, "even a rat".  That's insulting to rats.

Well, then make him a rat -- a big fat German rat like the one in Bensheim who was
so fat he got stuck in a hole in a manhole cover when he was climbing out of the
sewer.  They called the fire brigade to rescue him.

Couldn't he tell how fat he was?

Obviously not.  Others just like him, hold their stomach in but it sticks out elsewhere.

Just what we need ... a rat unable to ratiocinate and a gutless groper.

Not the only ones, there are a gross more.

When everybody and his dog is in the race you know what happens ...

The dog wins ...