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The Porcupine's Quill:  A Satire Column
by Arshad M. Khan
Please scroll down for
the satire column
Porcupine's Quill
April 7, 2013


News Item:  Chicago Teachers on strike against school closings.  Demonstrations
outside Mayor Rahm Emmanuel's office.

Oh!  Wait a minute, I have to feed my queen.  Comes back.

Sir, why don't we ever see your queen?

Well, you know, the queen does'nt like to move much.  She is busy producing new

To come back to the schools.  Why are you making little children walk long distances
through unsafe neighborhoods?

One word ... money.  It's what makes the world go round.

Or, in this case, make the children walk longer ...

Do 'em good.  They need the exercise.  It will let me fire gym teachers next.  We need
the money.  What we really need is more ballet.  Did you know dancing expands the
brain?  -- from the feet up the legs, through the torso into the brain.  Those neurons
grow and multiply as we practice.  Oh, I loved ballet, you know.  Still do.

Gets up, does a plie', a port de bras, then a pirouette, a ballon, an entrechat,
another pirouette, and sits down with a smile.

That's just great, Madam, I mean Mister Mayor.

Oh, it's a little difficult in a suit and wingtips.  You know, I really miss my tutu.  When I
was little, I had one.  Then got tights ... never liked 'em.

To return to schools ... don't you think it is an investment in our future.  If we don't
expend resources on the next generation, it's like eating our seed corn?

Corn?  I love that too, especially corn on the cob.