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The Porcupine's Quill:  A Satire Column
by Arshad M. Khan
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the satire column
Porcupine's Quill
April 1, 2018


News Item:  John Bolton was appointed National Security Advisor by President Trump.

It's dead.  But it's come alive.  It's walking about.

Unbelievable!  That's what I like about it.  Nobody can kill a zombie ... not even Kim
Jong Un's nuclear bomb.  That's why I appointed him.

It should've been dead after pushing and pushing and pushing again the calamitous
Iraq war.

But it's not.  In America everyone gets a second chance.  Anyone can be
resurrected.  It's the American way.

What's the zombie going to do now?

Lots of choices ... bomb Iran; bomb Kim Jong Un; put a finger anywhere in Africa and
you can bomb a "shithole" country -- isn't my description perfect?  All depends ...

All depends on what?

All depends on how bad my situation becomes with these investigating shits making a
mountain out of a molehill.

And your poll ratings don't help ...

Lies, lies, lies!  And fake news.  They make it all up.  Even my cheeseburger ...

But you like a cheeseburger ...

Yeah, but I don't eat one ...

You don't!

No!  I eat TWO.

Yeah, they sure are good at half-truths.

Amazing!  I'll tell you what's beautiful -- a hot cheeseburger with the sauce and onion
and tomato and lettuce and great American beef and ... .  You know, it's incredible.  
It's heaven on earth.