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The Porcupine's Quill: A Satire Column
by Arshad M. Khan
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the satire column
April 1, 2018
News Item: John Bolton was appointed National Security Advisor by President Trump.
It's dead. But it's come alive. It's walking about.
Unbelievable! That's what I like about it. Nobody can kill a zombie ... not even Kim
Jong Un's nuclear bomb. That's why I appointed him.
It should've been dead after pushing and pushing and pushing again the calamitous
But it's not. In America everyone gets a second chance. Anyone can be
resurrected. It's the American way.
What's the zombie going to do now?
Lots of choices ... bomb Iran; bomb Kim Jong Un; put a finger anywhere in Africa and
you can bomb a "shithole" country -- isn't my description perfect? All depends ...
All depends on what?
All depends on how bad my situation becomes with these investigating shits making a
mountain out of a molehill.
And your poll ratings don't help ...
Lies, lies, lies! And fake news. They make it all up. Even my cheeseburger ...
But you like a cheeseburger ...
Yeah, but I don't eat one ...
No! I eat TWO.
Yeah, they sure are good at half-truths.
Amazing! I'll tell you what's beautiful -- a hot cheeseburger with the sauce and onion
and tomato and lettuce and great American beef and ... . You know, it's incredible.
It's heaven on earth.