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The Porcupine's Quill: A Satire Column
by Arshad M. Khan
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the satire column
Porcupine's Quill

March 31, 2013
THE "BEEB"
News Item: The BBC goes on strike.
Yes, I am the Beeb. It's short for Beeb the Bobo Chick. Yes, I am a bobo. I do what
they tell me. I make my stories into meatballs of half-truths and lies coated with a
thin, very thin, delicious pastry of truth so my customers keep coming back.
But I've had enough. After all I have done, my bosses keep threatening me, and I
never have been paid enough. So, what can one do?
The worst we have had is Dave the Can-run. He runs away from every decent
solution to offer his own: our new Robbing Hood -- he squeezes the poor and gives
to the rich! Yes, that's how much we have advanced in the last eight centuries or is
it nine.
And look at the crappy programs we have to make to sell to the Americans. There's
S&B -- more like S&M if you ask me -- about these two policewomen who can't seem
to keep their panties on, and the men who help 'em take 'em off. Supposed to be a
mystery show but that's just background noise.
And the soaps the Yanks love with some manor house and toffs in fancy clothes all
hopping in and out of each others' beds. You'd think they'd get tired of all the kissing
that looks like they're eating one of their Big Macs with lips locked. Hell, no! They
keep asking for more.
The whole country is a mess. Dave the Dodger has got us. And he is even more
artful than the other one.