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The Porcupine's Quill:  A Satire Column
by Arshad M. Khan
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the satire column
Porcupine's Quill
March 19, 2017


News Item:  Populist anti-Muslim Geert Wilders suffers a loss in the Dutch election.  
But he is defiant.

The bicycle, the symbol of Dutch healthfulness is being polluted by Muslims.  We
must ban the Koran, close the mosques and destroy Muslim bicycles.

Sir, how do we know it's a Muslim bicycle?

That is a stupid question.

Yes, maybe, but how do we know?

If it's a female bicycle it wears a hijab.

But what if it's a male?

Another stupid question.  It's circum. circum  ... circumscribed, I mean circumcised
you fool.

We can take off the hijab and convert the female bicycle, but what do we do with the
male bicycle.

Do I have to tell you everything.  Castrate it you fools.  Castrate.  It's our new battle
cry:  Castrate!  Castrate!  Castrate Muslim bicycles.  Castrate!

Is that too radical?  What will all the bleeding heart liberals say?

Tell them we already do it to dogs.

Question, sir.  How do we castrate a bicycle?

Ach!  God in de lucht!  Cut off the front end.

But then we can't ride them.

Yes, that is the sacrifice we must make.  We have to.  We must.  We must all make
sacrifices to get rid of the Muslim menace.