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The Porcupine's Quill:  A Satire Column
by Arshad M. Khan
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the satire column
Porcupine's Quill
March 7, 202

H & M

News Item:  Harry and Meghan, the Duke and Duchess of Sussex, are interviewed by
Oprah Winfrey, an experience similar in intensity to being smacked on the head with
a dry, feather-weight plastic sponge.

What made you decide to escape England?

Oh!  I suppose one thing and another ...

Perhaps you could elaborate ... which thing and which other?

The press were hounding us and they kept "perpetuating falsehoods" about us.  

Now why would they want to do that?

I really don't know.  You'll have to ask them.  

Aren't they fairly easy on Royals?  

Not in our case, I can assure you.  

On another subject ... could you say something regarding all the stories circulating
about you shouting at the staff and being demanding and inconsiderate?

I say, I must say something here, you know, it's a little unfair, if you see what I mean.

It's nice of you to say something Harry.  You seem to be the quiet type ...

Oh no, Oprah!  He's smart, intelligent, versatile and of course, my handsome prince ...

I have to ask you this.  Now that you are in the US, will you be trying to patch things
up with your father.

I have tried Oprah.  I have tried ...

You mean he doesn't even want to see his grandchild ... and the one to come ...
congratulations by the way.

I really don't know.  You'll have to ask him that ...