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The Porcupine's Quill:  A Satire Column
by Arshad M. Khan
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the satire column
Porcupine's Quill
February 21, 2016


News Item:  An anti-smoking poster in Russia shows a not very benign Obama
smoking.  The tag line reads, "Smoking kills more people than Obama."  The poster,
as they say, has gone viral.

The Grand Ollama is pacing up and down his spacious hall of private audience.

This is despicable ... what that Russian Bear has done.  Just look at it.

Yes, your Serene Highness, indeed ... and after all the trouble you went to ...

Exactly!  I have given up smoking.  I have ...

At the insistence of the Grand Olamess.

Don't interrupt.

A thousand pardons, a thousand pardons your Serene Highness (falls to his knees

Get up. Get up.  As I was saying, l ... I have had my teeth whitened (shows teeth).  I
am serious about this smoking thing.

You mean about smoking guns and ... I know, look at Libya.  Look at Syria, Ukraine,
Yemen, ... I can go on.

No, you fool.  I mean smoking cigarettes.

Are you going to start again ... I mean smoking cigarettes ... not smoking guns.   You
never gave up those.

Oh!  Why do I have to have such stupid advisers.  What would Henry have done?

You mean Kissinger?  Hasn't he croaked?

You fool!  He always croaks.  That's his normal tone of voice ...

Fools, fools, fools!  Why do I have to live with fools when I am so smart ...