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The Porcupine's Quill:  A Satire Column
by Arshad M. Khan
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the satire column
Porcupine's Quill
February 3, 2019


News Item:  The lowest scoring superbowl was played today with the Patriots
defeating the Rams 13-3.

Mr. President, it's on the news everywhere.  They're saying you wouldn't let Barron
play football.

Yep!  I call it like it is.  Too risky.  Too dangerous.  To many head injuries.  I know.

Did you play football?

How did you guess?  When you're big, that's what they push you into.

And did you have head injuries, Sir?

(Defensively) Might have.  Go get me a cheeseburger.

Of course, Sir.  Did the injuries have a lasting effect?

Listen!  GO GET that cheeseburger!

Yes, Sir.  But I have to remind you to look over your SOTU address.  It's only a
couple of days away.

Yeah!  Yeah!  I'll get to it.  I don't see the big deal about football.  Today's game put
me to sleep.

Yes Sir.  It wasn't the most exciting.

I tell you, my fight with the Democrats in Congress has more excitement.

Indeed, Sir.  I hope you win.

Don't worry, I never lose.  I am not the Rams.

Of course you're not ... anything but ...

Are you trying to be funny or something?

Oh no, Sir!  I
'm on my way for the cheeseburger.

Good!  And I promise you I'll build that wall.

Yes, Sir.