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The Porcupine's Quill:  A Satire Column
by Arshad M. Khan
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the satire column
Porcupine's Quill

January 24, 2021


News Item:  President Trump arrives at Mar-a-Lago and plays some golf and
settles-in in time for his 16th wedding anniversary.

Oh Doughnaald, it is so nice to be home permanently.

But Melania I won ...

We are not going to say that word again even if you think it.  It only upsets you

I left him a nice letter ...

That was nice of you Doughnaald.

You made me do it, you ...

We won't mention that also Doughnaald.

Should've left a black widow in the envelope ...

He's already got one.

Now, now, Melania.  She's a hard-working woman.

Publicity seeker.  Imagine going around with cookie packets for the soldiers.  Soldiers
should be tough.

You know, Melania, it's really nice to be home without all those congressional hounds.

And without CNN hounding you.

Oh, I can take care of myself.

I know you can Doughnaald.  I know you can.

Well, happy anniversary Melania.  I have this little ...

Oh DOUGHNAALD!  Thank you!  It's been exciting 16 years.

There's one thing I'm missing though.  It's that secretive White House chef's
cheeseburger sauce.

Well, I have a surprise for you Doughnaald.  I have the sauce recipe.  It's my present
for you, and they are just preparing a cheeseburger just as you like it.

Oh, Melania!  How did you do it?

Women have their ways [fluttering her eyelashes].

Oh Melania!

Oh DOUGHNAALD!  [Snuggles up to him.]