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The Porcupine's Quill: A Satire Column
by Arshad M. Khan
by Arshad M. Khan
Please scroll down for
the satire column
Porcupine's Quill
the satire column
Porcupine's Quill
January 12, 2014
THE LAP DOG
News Item: Former Defense Secretary Robert Gates' just released book portrays
Joe Biden as never right on a foreign policy issue in forty years.
Well! Those kinds of comments don't deserve a reply. See, who I am having lunch
with ... as long as my boss is happy. My job is to lick and satisfy egos. It's got me
where I am -- the best gig in town: house, home, even a plane and I get to hammer a
gavel in my old haunts ... what more can one want? You make what you can out of a
job.
And I made it on to the ticket the second time around when many thought I'd be
dumped. You just have to have a thick hide ... and keep on lickin'.
Remember, when they sent me to Israel and those guys gave me the boot -- well, just
keep on lickin' ... gets you a comfortable lap to sit on ... and the perks with it.
Foreign policy? Who cares, this is the greatest country in the world. We can bury
anyone.
Just get me to a donor ... I'll lick his boots off til his wallet's empty!
That's what counts ... and havn' a thick hide.
Remember when I was running for President, and they caught me stealing lines from
that Brit guy -- I forgot his name ... just a mix-up -- gets so darn confusing sometimes
...
But you know something ... I survived ... just don't ever count me out ... I have what
you need in this town -- a tough skin and a long tongue.
Just ask Bill Clinton ... a man after my own heart -- more likely after my wife and
daughter (and yours too) if you ask me ...
THE LAP DOG
News Item: Former Defense Secretary Robert Gates' just released book portrays
Joe Biden as never right on a foreign policy issue in forty years.
Well! Those kinds of comments don't deserve a reply. See, who I am having lunch
with ... as long as my boss is happy. My job is to lick and satisfy egos. It's got me
where I am -- the best gig in town: house, home, even a plane and I get to hammer a
gavel in my old haunts ... what more can one want? You make what you can out of a
job.
And I made it on to the ticket the second time around when many thought I'd be
dumped. You just have to have a thick hide ... and keep on lickin'.
Remember, when they sent me to Israel and those guys gave me the boot -- well, just
keep on lickin' ... gets you a comfortable lap to sit on ... and the perks with it.
Foreign policy? Who cares, this is the greatest country in the world. We can bury
anyone.
Just get me to a donor ... I'll lick his boots off til his wallet's empty!
That's what counts ... and havn' a thick hide.
Remember when I was running for President, and they caught me stealing lines from
that Brit guy -- I forgot his name ... just a mix-up -- gets so darn confusing sometimes
...
But you know something ... I survived ... just don't ever count me out ... I have what
you need in this town -- a tough skin and a long tongue.
Just ask Bill Clinton ... a man after my own heart -- more likely after my wife and
daughter (and yours too) if you ask me ...