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The Porcupine's Quill: A Satire Column
by Arshad M. Khan
by Arshad M. Khan
Please scroll down for
the satire column
Porcupine's Quill
the satire column
Porcupine's Quill
January 11, 2015
DERSHY THE DOG
News Item: Alan Dershowitz, prominent lawyer and Harvard Law School professor
accused of sex with an underage girl in a lawsuit.
Dershy, you dog, didn't know you had it in you ...
Well (looking down) we all have our moments, but (snarls) not this one. I am going to
sue their socks off.
Hey, calm down. You can't go to jail as you well know -- the statute of limitations and
all that ...
It's my reputation ...
What reputation? Now you meshugenah, you have one. Before you were a
bespectacled little professor, now you are a man ...
Man? I am so embarrassed. The students are snickering at me -- though I admit
some of the girls are giving glances of appraisal ... that's new for sure.
Don't worry it'll blow over. And you know what ? You are in the company of princes
... can't be that bad.
I swear to you I am not guilty. You know Anita Ekberg died. La Dolce Vita was --- I
am at a loss for words --- and she ... oh, a goddess.
Dershy, this is a side of you we have never seen in the common room ...
Well, a man can be more than his parts ...
In your case, one cannot help but agree ... at least you're getting your firteen minutes
of true fame ...
DERSHY THE DOG
News Item: Alan Dershowitz, prominent lawyer and Harvard Law School professor
accused of sex with an underage girl in a lawsuit.
Dershy, you dog, didn't know you had it in you ...
Well (looking down) we all have our moments, but (snarls) not this one. I am going to
sue their socks off.
Hey, calm down. You can't go to jail as you well know -- the statute of limitations and
all that ...
It's my reputation ...
What reputation? Now you meshugenah, you have one. Before you were a
bespectacled little professor, now you are a man ...
Man? I am so embarrassed. The students are snickering at me -- though I admit
some of the girls are giving glances of appraisal ... that's new for sure.
Don't worry it'll blow over. And you know what ? You are in the company of princes
... can't be that bad.
I swear to you I am not guilty. You know Anita Ekberg died. La Dolce Vita was --- I
am at a loss for words --- and she ... oh, a goddess.
Dershy, this is a side of you we have never seen in the common room ...
Well, a man can be more than his parts ...
In your case, one cannot help but agree ... at least you're getting your firteen minutes
of true fame ...