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The Porcupine's Quill: A Satire Column
by Arshad M. Khan
by Arshad M. Khan
Please scroll down for
the satire column
Porcupine's Quill
the satire column
Porcupine's Quill
January 6, 2013
THE MALDIVES SHREW
Item: Anyone with doubts about climate change should pay a visit to the Maldives, a
chain of islands in the Indian Ocean a couple of hundred or so miles south of India.
As the ocean levels rise, the islands are sinking.
Sandy! Sandy! Sandy! That's all I hear about. The news is always centered on the
problems of the rich. Bet you've never even heard of me; yet, my losses are far more
severe than most of those rich people building homes too close to the shore.
What happened to me, you ask? Well, I lost my home too. There was a small storm
-- we get them all the time, so we were sleeping soundly. I always guard the exit, so I
was closer to it. The rest were sleeping snugly much further inside. My poor
innocent babes! When the water rushed in, they didn't stand a chance, and I
couldn't get to them.
When the wave backed out, I was washed out with it. That's how I survived. I know,
my family is insignificant to humans. They call us vermin. But to me, it was my life.
You humans have been on the planet just a 100,000 or so years. The dinosaurs,
you consider dumb, survived 150 million years -- done in, some say, by climate
change. In your 100K years, not too much happened until a few hundred years ago,
when you started breeding like flies and living lives of unimagined comfort ... and
greed. It has been a disaster.
If you continue the way you are going, we will all be done in. Pleeeeeeze just stop!
THE MALDIVES SHREW
Item: Anyone with doubts about climate change should pay a visit to the Maldives, a
chain of islands in the Indian Ocean a couple of hundred or so miles south of India.
As the ocean levels rise, the islands are sinking.
Sandy! Sandy! Sandy! That's all I hear about. The news is always centered on the
problems of the rich. Bet you've never even heard of me; yet, my losses are far more
severe than most of those rich people building homes too close to the shore.
What happened to me, you ask? Well, I lost my home too. There was a small storm
-- we get them all the time, so we were sleeping soundly. I always guard the exit, so I
was closer to it. The rest were sleeping snugly much further inside. My poor
innocent babes! When the water rushed in, they didn't stand a chance, and I
couldn't get to them.
When the wave backed out, I was washed out with it. That's how I survived. I know,
my family is insignificant to humans. They call us vermin. But to me, it was my life.
You humans have been on the planet just a 100,000 or so years. The dinosaurs,
you consider dumb, survived 150 million years -- done in, some say, by climate
change. In your 100K years, not too much happened until a few hundred years ago,
when you started breeding like flies and living lives of unimagined comfort ... and
greed. It has been a disaster.
If you continue the way you are going, we will all be done in. Pleeeeeeze just stop!