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The Porcupine's Quill:  A Satire Column
by Arshad M. Khan
Please scroll down for
the satire column
Porcupine's Quill
January 1, 2017


News Item:  President Obama expels 35 Russian diplomats and their families over the
alleged Russian hacking last May.

We have to teach the Russians ... a lesson.

But why now ... so long after and during Christmas.  Doesn't it look bad?

It took this long to be certain and it's not their Christmas.  The Russian Orthodox ...
they celebrate on January 7th.

Yet there is no proof, no trace showing Russian culpability.  The intel report is  more
a description of capacity.

We must do right.

By letting the wrongdoers get away with it ...

Politics is a dirty business.  I try to keep it clean.

Does this move help the future administration?

When it's their turn, it's their turn.  Right now it's mine.  I preserve my legacy.

Of annoying the Russians ...

They have to pay for Crimea

But it was theirs in the first place ...

Listen?  If I had four more years, I would have had them on their knees.

While they win in Syria, enlarge their base there, and peel off Turkey ...

It's only temporary.

What about Putin's response?

Unexpected.  It had looked like Lavrov's fulminations would carry the day ...

Do you play chess?

I don't have time for games.

Putin's a Grand Master on the world stage.

Sounds like a circus guy.  I'll tell you something.  I never knew a Russian bear could
be slippery as an eel.  We Americans play it straight.

Would you like to buy the Eiffel Tower?

I didn't know it was for sale.