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The Porcupine's Quill:  A Satire Column
by Arshad M. Khan
Please scroll down for
the satire column
Porcupine's Quill
December 28, 2014

SANTA'S QUANDARY

It used to be the elves were busy year round, sawing and hammering and gluing
together toys for all the children of Christ's world.  But now I get toys dirt cheap from
China, and guess what, the elves are all sitting around playing video games and
getting fat.

The worst of it is, they blame me.  They say I am a bad example.  The smart ones
have been reading Nicholas Christakis' research on social networks and
socioeconomic and biosocial determinants of behavioral health and longevity.  It's
hard for me to even say all that ... how do the elves get that smart?

Anyway, it means if one person in a group is fat and has bad eating habits, its
catching, and soon the others start to become fat.  The cheek of it!  Fat used to be
synonymous with jolly, happy and fun-loving; now it's the opposite ...

The world has changed and I am not sure if it's for the better ...

The first lady is on an anti-obesity campaign ... must I go on a diet?  Haven't I already
lived forever, fat as I am ...