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The Porcupine's Quill: A Satire Column
by Arshad M. Khan
Please scroll down for
the satire column
December 25, 2016
THE TRUMP BARBER
News Item: Like some presidents elected before him, Donald Trump is not averse to
selecting a friend for a top job.
So what is this new job the Supreme Under Vizier, your SUV?
Well, he's under me that's all.
But this SUV fella's your barber ...
Yes, and a good one. He has given me great advice for twenty years or so
But still ...
Well, I had to. He's been sore as hell ever since I didn't let him enter the Miss
America contest ...
Yes, and you know you can't have anyone holding a razor at your throat be mad at
Quite, I understand. But what kind of advice ...
Oh, he is really good. He says things like ... "Two and two don't always have to make
four." Very useful tax advice.
"And better a bird in the hand than two in the bush." It's why I keep getting married.
Will he have any other duties?
Of course. He will continue to be my barber. He will shave me everyday and
continue to look after this iconic hair.
Any ideas on the conflict-of-interest issue?
What issue? People who elected me know I have international business interests.
As my SUV says, "Better the devil you know ... ," and you know what ... he has the
pulse of the people. It made no difference in the election. I won.