dedicated to the brotherhood of chimps, dogs, cats, rats, etc. ...
Copyright © 2010
ofthisandthat.org. All rights
The Porcupine's Quill: A Satire Column
by Arshad M. Khan
Please scroll down for
the satire column
December 23, 2012
News Item: Senator John Kerry is to be the President's nominee for Secretary of
State according to White House sources.
No, I am not a Southeast Asian delicacy, and yes, I am a bloodhound. In school, they
nicknamed me Droopy. That's me. They also called me a son-of-a-bitch. That's me,
too -- a simple, natural fact of life, which does not offend me in the least.
I have a plan. If you are skint or near skint, you have to have a plan. In my case,
KISS -- Keep It Simple Stupid. That's what I did. I sniffed around -- and do I have a
snifter -- well, I sniffed and sniffed and finally found one -- a rich bitch perfect for all
my needs including campaign funds -- hard to get in those days.
We dogs are very political. You have heard of the dogs of war, well I was a dog for
peace. And it worked. I kept stepping up ... both politically and personally. I am a
Senator as you know and soon to be the new Secretary of State. And my latest
companion is a billionaire.
What can I say to my fellows. First, to my Junior High classmates. Hey! Who's
laughing now? But more importantly to my fellows in the dog -- or is it dog-eat-dog --
world. You've gotta have a plan. I have a plan. Always did ...
A footnote though. I would be remiss if I didn't mention my friend and fellow rich bitch
terrain traveler, the beer-battered hot dog from Arizona, for helping out with that
pesky black terrier who was after the same job. She is mad as hell, but I'll calm her
down. I have a plan ....