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The Porcupine's Quill:  A Satire Column
by Arshad M. Khan
Please scroll down for
the satire column
Porcupine's Quill
December 20, 2020

A DIFFICULT GOODBYE TO WHITEHOUSE CHEESEBURGERS

News Item:  Silence from a distraught Trump on Biden.

Doughnaald!  I must start packing ...

You could wait a few days, Melania ...

But why?  You lost.  We have to move.

I won but they cheated me.  Listen, Melania ...

No, Doughnaald.  I am obedient wife but ...

No buts, Melania.  I have a plan ...

You sound like John Kerry.  Ask him about anything, he says he's got a plan.

Don't remind me of that loser ...

And now, you've lost and we must move.

Not yet, Melania ...

What we are going to do, Doughnaald?

Well, I can lose weight, start looking like a corpse, and have Biden kidnapped ...

And how does Mike Pence begin to look like Kamala Harris?

That's a problem but you know Hollywood can make anyone look like anything.  The
make-up artists are fantastic.  I mean they make people look like monsters ...

And poor Mrs. Pence?

She'll go into hiding.  We'll say she has the coronavirus and ...   

Oh, Doughnaald!  When did you last eat?  You just sit in the Oval office ... like a
statue.

Good idea, I'll have a statue of me put on the lawn.

Doughnaald, you need a nice, big, fat, juicy cheeseburger, maybe two ...

Yes, Melania, I love the CHEESEBURGERS here.  I don't want to leave them ... I don't
... I don't ... I don't ...